Getting your hair cut is basically just like taking a shit: you just got to do it from time to time, and whatever the end result, you just quickly look it over before going: “Yeah, whatever, that’s fine.” Also, both activities can be easily ruined by someone trying to have a conversation with you. But some hairdressers don’t get it. Some hairdressers ask you about your day. No, no, no. I grew this hair out in total silence and that’s how I want it cut. How do you make that happen, though? Well, have you considered having the following things tattooed right on your goddamn face?