Baby, I Swear I’m Not Like The Other Guys

Honey, baby, girl, sugar, desk, carpet, lightbulb, wallpaper, TV… sorry, I got distracted there for a second. But baby, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not like the other guys. I know you’ve heard differently but I need you to believe me now: you’ve never met anyone else like me AND IT SHOULD FREAK YOU OUT. I don’t know what I am but I know that I’m not like the other guys because I might not even be human. Please help me…

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How To Tell Your Baby You Love Them Without Making It Weird

A child is one of the most joyous gifts a person can ever receive. It fills you with so much light and happiness that it’s perfectly natural to want to express it by telling your kid that you love them so much. But what if you make it weird? What if they weren’t ready to say it back or even hear it? Great, now the entire house is awkward. Oh everything seems normal on the surface but you see how your child can’t even look you in the eyes as it pisses on you while you change its diaper. That’s because you jumped the gun there, bucko. Here’s what you could have done instead.

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