As we all know, taxes are LITERALLY the government hitting you over the head with a lead pipe and then rifling through your pockets for heroin money. As such, if you’re not trying to pay as little as possible in taxes, you are an enabler and an overall bad person who’s definitely going to hell. But how can we help the government by getting rid of their fix? Well, there are a few simple things you can try out this tax season but, word of warning, these will 100% get you arrested. But that’s the price we sometimes pay for a clear conscience.
The late ‘90s/early 2000s really were the best time. They had the best music, films, cartoons, and it was around that time that the Black Office of the shadow world government finally got funding for their mind-control experiment. 1,000,000 gallons of proprietary chemical cocktails in the world water supply later and it looks like Project X has been a total success. For the most part. We are still occasionally getting reports of people who seem to remember what REALLY happened 20+ years ago, so let’s do a test, OK? If you recall any of the following 1990s/2000s cartoons, then please report to the nearest Black Office operative for immediate termination. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.
Tits, boobs, jugs, melons, cans, knockers, funbags, honkers, headlights, Bahama mammas, balloons, fried eggs, tatas, racks, the twins, whoppers, milk factories, perkies. There. Now try looking at the following, totally innocent pictures and not think about breasts. Go ahead, I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker.
Few people are ever truly happy with how they look. We all have that one part of ourselves that we would like to get rid of. For some of us, it’s the second, blind face on the backs of our heads that tells us to go outside and collect pigeons (WHY, Clarence? We already have way too many!) while for others, it might be some of their extra weight. Let’s talk about the second one for now. Here are a few tips for getting skinny, extra fast:
Since first premiering 30 years ago, Saved by the Bell continues to be a show that existed. It told the story of friends who went to school and sometimes ate food, but the friends weren’t the same. No, they were different in many regards. Hair color for one. They were also portrayed by different people. Here are some facts about them:
Socks – they aren’t just for filling with batteries and taking them to Eagles games. Socks, or “foot condoms,” put a protective barrier between our naked bodies and the insides of our shoes to help keep things nice and professional between the two. But the question remains: are they also appropriate attire during sex proper? And the answer remains: yes, but not every sock’s the same. In fact, every sock color/pattern sends out a different signal to your partner about the style of your lovemaking. Here are some examples:
On the latest episode of the hit reality show The Real Idols Of America Got Voices, the whole world held its breath, then quietly vomited in their mouths, when Jerry Burgle took the stage. At 450lbs and with a face that only a mother could use to fend off wild animals, everyone naturally assumed that Jerry was there to commit suicide on live television after accidentally catching a glimpse of himself in a puddle of grease that was also his breakfast that morning. But then the man-o-lard started to sing.