From the moment I bought my first cast iron pan, my life hasn’t been the same. It was only little things at first. On day one, after I seasoned the pan to bring out its natural nonstick-ness, I started noticing that some of the pictures on my wall… just weren’t right. I still recognized the locations, but not all of the people in them. Who was this man with his arm around me during my college graduation? I tried telling myself that I was just tired and that it will all come back to me. But it never did.
Work. It’s a pretty great place to get paid for pooping outside of a German porn video, but what makes it unbearable are all the people there. “Hate” is a strong word, which is why it’s perfect for describing what you feel for all your coworkers. If only there was a way to get everyone there to just leave you the fuck alone. Actually, it turns out there are FIVE of them:
Sometimes, life comes at you fast. Before you know it, you find yourself owning a house, having a family, and owing $70,000 to some very scary people because gambling on human life is the only way you can get an erection anymore. We’ve all been there and everyone’s first instinct in those situations is always to fake your own funeral but this is where a lot of people make the most mistakes. Boris the Butcher is no fool. He’s seen the same ruse done hundreds of times so if you want to get out of this with your skull still roughly skull-shaped, here are a few things you should be mindful of:
I may have never graduated college because of the school’s toxic environment and politics and a fire that NO ONE ever conclusively proved was the result of a secret meth lab explosion. But I’ll tell you what: I got a degree in life and seizing the day by butt-packing my way through Europe.
Relationships aren’t static. They are living, breathing things that thrive on variety and surprise whether you’ve been dating for a week or you’ve been married for 10 years or you’ve illegally imprisoned your boyfriend in a secret location after too many late nights with his “coworker” Janice. It’s especially true about that last one where total control of your partner’s life can easily give place to complacency. Here are a few fashion tips to help keep things interesting down in the Hole of Suffering.