9 Mind-Blowing Facts You Never Knew About The Cast Of Saved By The Bell

Since first premiering 30 years ago, Saved by the Bell continues to be a show that existed. It told the story of friends who went to school and sometimes ate food, but the friends weren’t the same. No, they were different in many regards. Hair color for one. They were also portrayed by different people. Here are some facts about them:

Continue reading “9 Mind-Blowing Facts You Never Knew About The Cast Of Saved By The Bell”

Heartwarming! Trash-Faced Fatso Has The Voice Of An Angel!

On the latest episode of the hit reality show The Real Idols Of America Got Voices, the whole world held its breath, then quietly vomited in their mouths, when Jerry Burgle took the stage. At 450lbs and with a face that only a mother could use to fend off wild animals, everyone naturally assumed that Jerry was there to commit suicide on live television after accidentally catching a glimpse of himself in a puddle of grease that was also his breakfast that morning. But then the man-o-lard started to sing.

Continue reading “Heartwarming! Trash-Faced Fatso Has The Voice Of An Angel!”

I’m Jacob Wohl And Getting Banned From Twitter Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

Last month, I was banned from Twitter for “allegedly” owning up to creating fake accounts, which I “totally” did. But this blatant, unfair act of prejudice and persecution, on par only with WW2, is actually good for me. I dare say that it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Literally. No, really, I need you all to understand just how awful my life has been until now.

Continue reading “I’m Jacob Wohl And Getting Banned From Twitter Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me”

Science Confirms Freddie Mercury’s Vocal Range Allowed Him To Yell At Squirrels Like No Other Human In History

The late Queen frontman Freddie Mercury is widely recognized as one of the greatest vocalists in history. But that’s not all he was. According to international research from Slovenia, Vanuatu, and Angola, Freddie Mercury’s vocal range surpassed that of ordinary humans, allowing him to hurl loud, incoherent insults at squirrels unlike any other person in history.

Continue reading “Science Confirms Freddie Mercury’s Vocal Range Allowed Him To Yell At Squirrels Like No Other Human In History”