A US doctor and amateur big game hunter has paid $150,000 for the right to knock-out and later release an exceedingly rare red Gyarados in a game of Pokémon. The man claims that his actions were actually an act of kindness.
According to reports, the hunter met up with Brian Johnson, a seasoned Pokémon player, in a remote parking lot to complete their transaction. Once he confirmed that the money was in his account, Johnson battled the anonymous thrill-seeker with a shiny Gyarados whose every move has been replaced with a Splash. The hunter, not wanting to take any chances, unleashed his Dragonite on the heavily-weakened monster, taking it down with two precise hits of its Hyper Beam. By Johnson’s account, his Pokémon did not seem to suffer.
Once the shiny Gyarados was left unconscious, Johnson traded it to the hunter for a Lvl 1 Rattata. What happened next shocked and angered Pokémon conservationists and Pokémon rights activists, as the creature’s new owner accessed Bill’s computer and released the rare Gyarados, making it impossible to recapture it. “A lot of people have a problem with what I did,” the hunter commented, “but I stand by my actions. The shiny Gyarados was never meant to be owned by anyone. It belongs in digital nature. I set it free. It had nothing to do with obtaining a sick pleasure from depriving other people of rare Pokémon. This erection I’m sporting right now is about something unrelated.”
Although shiny Gyaradoses are very rare, there are currently no laws or regulations prohibiting the capturing, trading, or indeed releasing of them. Nonetheless, the actions of the anonymous hunter have attracted a lot of comments and even death threats from all over the world, including: “Aw dude, really?!” “What a waste,” “Kill yourself,” and frightfully frequent uses of the n-word. The incident has also spawned an avalanche of internet memes condemning the release, most of them also containing frightfully frequent uses of the n-word.
Others have defended the hunter’s actions, and pointed out that the money he paid will most likely go to Pokémon conservation efforts. However, when we reached Brian Johnson to ask what he’s planning to do with his money, he refused a comment on the grounds of being “too busy doing ALL THE METH IN THE WORLD!” Shiny Gyaradoses continue to be an endangered species.